that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
