I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
