help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
