Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
