We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
