3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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