when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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