I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
