You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I seem to have left my pride at pride
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
