When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize