we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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