Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
