Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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