You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
