coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
time to smoke my breakfast
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
