That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
