i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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