I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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