Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
