Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
