Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
