i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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