Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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