Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize