Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
