My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
