so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize