Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
