she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
