I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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