My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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