ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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