I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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