Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
