did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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