apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
