this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
