I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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