I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
