This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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