I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish I only lived at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize