And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
