i think my tv is drunk
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
