he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
