32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
