I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize