my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize