Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
