Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
only you would photoshop your dick
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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