Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
