this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
vagina is talking i cant
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
my poor anus
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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