best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
