Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
