sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
